Title: Better Believe
Author: Ruby Lee Tuesday
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Ruby Lee Tuesday was born to be her father’s property. Trapped in an abusive home where only perfect was good enough for the devil, Ruby attempted to distract herself from his ways through her music, poetry, art, and most importantly, her faith in God. Tuesday shares a heartbreaking story of childhood trauma as she bravely pursued her dreams, despite living with parents who seemed determined to destroy her, both physically and emotionally. While providing a riveting look into the ways of an abuser, Tuesday details how her mistreatment eventually caused her to lose her faith, embark on a path of self-destruction, and succumb to panic attacks and depression. But through it all, Tuesday somehow managed to find solace and an escape in her music, ultimately leaving everything behind and bravely following her dream all the way from Norway to Nashville, Tennessee, where she would find faith once again. Better Believe is a story of determination, passion, betrayal, friendship, and hope as one woman journeys from the darkness of abuse into the light of healing where she learns to believe in herself for the first time.
A summary of the memories of a past
It was a summer day in 1979 that this baby child was born. She resisted and twisted for two weeks, and when she finally came, her forehead came first. She was nearly strangled by the cord around her neck. The doctors took her and ran out of the room. She never connected with her mother and her mother never connected with her. Her surroundings were wild. She had a sister and later on got a brother. They were all raised in different parts of the house, Isolated from one another. The house was haunted, and her room reminded of a prison cell. Besides from a tiny window in the roof, there was no light coming into her darkness. Outside her window was the dark and starlight sky. She cried at night wondering why. Why she had to live above the deadly living room. Voices and hatred made the air stand still. She had no will- of her own. She was born to be her father’s property. He was full of hate. And the little girl hated his ways. She carried love within her heart. And she created art. She made a song to prove them wrong, and then what happened would not be as bad as it was good for nothing, not as long as she made a song or a poem. Those little victories she hid in her head and rarely talked about. That way no one could mess it up or take it away from her.
Day in and day out she was living in fright, all alone in her prison cell in hell. She was destined to live to tell. In the meantime she tried to be good in these mean times. Cold hearted beatings from the man with the iron fist. He handed her bruises and memories of a life in risk. A living hell, she could tell that her virginity was already taken when she entered first grade, 1st grade and a few hours of getaway from the haunted house, her haunted home. She did her very best. Only perfect was nearly good enough for the devil. Driven by hatred, she delivered. She can remember how she lost contact with her body. Her mom and dad twisted her hands and twisted both her arms. They divided her wholeness by pressure to her joints. Being disconnected from herself she stopped drawing, could not feel her own fingers. They were twisted away from their original position. She would turn cold. Never thought she would get very old. And here she is this very day. She cried her pain away and is finally releasing all her disappointments. Post traumatic stress disorder and panic attacks is what the devil ordered so many years ago. She is now 35 and stronger than ever before. And in her mind is a wish for the best for the rest.
Ruby Lee Tuesday has spent years on healing both physically and spiritually. She is a poet, singer, and songwriter who plays a variety of instruments. Ruby left Norway in 2013 to pursue her dreams in Nashville, Tennessee. This is her first book.